Stay Awhile

A gracious host makes her guest feel like royalty. A gracious guest makes her host feel like…inviting her visitor back. As we prepare to spend time at our friends’ homes this fall, we checked in with etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, who offers these rules of thumb.

Be a gracious houseguest. These few considerations will get you invited back.

Send your host your travel itinerary in advance.
Never assume your host will pick you up from the airport. In fact, consider renting a car, which allows you the freedom to explore at will.
Present a small hostess gift, like decorative napkins or stationary.
Investigate activities you’d like to pursue on your own. Even if your host won’t admit it, she’ll appreciate a break. You might, too.
Help with the chores. Your host may decline it, but a thoughtful guest knows to sing for her supper.
Avoid hot topics—politics! religion!—when you suspect your host has opposite views.
Remember the adage: “House guests are like fish. After three days, they start to smell!” So even if you were unable to do everything you’d planned, don’t extend your visit.
Write a thank you note within 48 hours.

Now that you know how to become a dream guest, read Gottsman's advice on being a host with the most.

Recommended read: Gottsman’s blog. It’s packed with useful, modern etiquette advice on everything from how to write a love letter to tattoos in the workplace.